BUT BLIND AUDITIONS

TL;DR STFU

My post where I arranged and commented on Nina DeCesare’s statistics about women bass players in a selection of US orchestras garnered a fair number of comments and shares yesterday. I would like to address some of the comments which still surprise me. (How can I still be surprised? I feel like a moron.) Some (not all) of the problematic commentary makes me want to just respond “fuck you!” and block the commenters, but instead, I will explain my feelings.

The very first comment which came yesterday said it was “weird” that Nina left off one particular orchestra and woman bass player. And I responded that it wasn’t weird and that I’m always surprised when people want to come and nitpick data. Then someone else, who never posts on my page but PMmed me once when she recognized me calling out her former teacher and current close friend (not by name) as someone who recently sexually harassed me in a workplace, decided to comment for her first time ever that I am “so angry.” (I did block her and one other jerk. I’m done with the lurkers who just sit around to write nasty things. I also blocked music critic Jens F. Laurson too, because he never participates except to read along carefully and “like” the most disgusting comments.)

So my response to this whole thing is: these orchestral demographics are not typically subject to real scientific study. When high school/Juilliard drop outs such as me and even more educated musicians such as Nina draw data, it’s not going to be perfect. We are doing it to draw attention to missing people, often at significant personal and professional expense. (If you think this is fun or we’re doing this for publicity or hits or something, I do have a nice fermenting paper bag of dog excrement for you.) So don’t call it weird if you don’t like it. Offer to help. Maybe even thank the people for their initial efforts. Draw your own data from different orchestras. Remember you have to have some way to select them, so you can’t just go add your orchestra without adding a bunch of others like it. Explain why your data is better and write about it. Maybe you can even publish it somewhere. I’ll share it for you, I promise.

To the people who say there is one woman bass player in this other orchestra, or there used to be two in this orchestra before the data pool: This is again, nitpicking, and also not what we were talking about. Did you miss the point entirely? Your one woman here and there does not change the dismal landscape. Nina came up with 6.6% in these orchestras currently. What if she changed this detail or that one, and included this orchestra and not that one, and it turns out her numbers changed by 100% even (which they certainly wouldn’t)? Would 13.2% women not still be a travesty? I get that there is no easy answer, but these distractions are not helpful.

But now, for the white men who wrote it’s “about how you play” and “auditions are blind” and “I’m eminently qualified to know” and “maybe they just played better,” despite my disclaimer not to write that garbage, I’m here for you right now.

Let me translate back to you how this comes across, since you are clearly very clueless about language. This says, “Hey Women, you’re not as good as the men. It was proven fair and square! In blind test after blind test.” And you motherfuckers are really the ones I want to say “fuck you” to, but I won’t. I will spell it out in plain words for you, what you have not considered despite the fact of all the amazing things you have done and unions you have been in charge of and your eminent qualifications:

• How many of the 209 men bass players listed from Nina’s group of orchestras received their orchestral positions in fully blind auditions?

Let me tell you what a fully blind audition is before you answer that question in your grand bluster. It is an audition where everyone has to do the same thing. That means you don’t have a preliminary round where you cut nearly everyone and you get to invite your Big Fancy Bros to later rounds with different standards and different people listening (like music directors). That means you keep the screen up the whole time, and STFU in advance about how you start with the screen and then take it down—that doesn’t count at all. That means no one communicates with people on the other side of the screen. That means you hire from behind the screen. Okay, now tell me how many of those 209 men did that, especially those 30/32 men playing principal. Thanks in advance. You don’t like my data, right, so please draw those tables up and let us all know. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say “please.” I just expect you to do it, like you expect me to. Thanks again in advance.

• At what rate were women dismissed compared to men when the auditions became unblinded, whether that was a trial week or other round?

• How many super talented players were driven away in the first place?

That means a lot of different things. That means who didn’t apply because they didn’t think the orchestra would hire a woman. That means who wasn’t able to continue their training because the environment for women was too toxic. That means who wasn’t able to get sub work in the orchestra to learn what needed to be learned in order to audition best because they weren’t the right race or gender or didn’t kiss the right ass. Do you even know what women have to do to have the men in charge like them in these sorts of settings? (You could start by watching Barbie if you don’t.) That means how did the women react when somebody told them they had to have sex with, suck the dick of, etc., a certain person to get ahead, and how they navigated that impossible situation. That means, which of the best teachers were even willing to teach women, and did all the talented women have access to those teachers? That means, how many women and non-binary people and POC got to play for the committee members before the audition compared to white men? Okay, put that in your study, too. I remembered not to say “please” this time.

It’s no surprise that an old white man tuba player on Facebook and another whole separate old white man BFM tuba player on Substack (now also blocked because he just couldn’t STFU) is making stupid comments to this effect. But the scary part is the young white man trombone student feeling free to write this on my Facebook on October 14, 2024. Where has he been? Does he have no women friends who have felt comfortable enough to clue him in? Did he learn this from his teachers? Yikes, I hope he does not grow up to be another BFM perpetuating these dangerous attitudes.

For those of us who live in a world where we are acutely aware of the differences and advantages white men in our industry enjoy, hearing white men say “but blind auditions” all the time seems like you’re either very, very stupid and clueless or trying to gaslight us into silence.