KATE RENDALL

And The New Zealand Symphony Orchestra

Aug 02, 2024

Kate Rendall, an amateur/professional oboist from New Zealand has been featured many times on my Facebook page, and we raised $3161 for RAINN in her honor not too long ago. I provide her update from today about how the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra instructed its oboists not to communicate with her. After that, I have collated relevant posts I’ve made about Kate, or Kate has made about herself, over the past couple of years.

August 2, 2024

Orchestral Ostracism

A Post Copied with Permission by Kate Rendall

(Click underlined title above to read Kate Rendall’s Facebook post in its original location.)

Sometime after I made a complaint about my sexual assault, the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra asked its oboe players not to communicate with me. During a break in rehearsals, the executive leadership team pulled individuals aside for an unscheduled meeting and asked them to suspend contact with me.

I was ghosted - music and reed making plans evaporated, and messages went unanswered. There were no greetings when we crossed paths, just silence accompanied by awkward glances. I asked NZSO what was going on, and whether this ostracism was at the administration’s instruction. The response was that I was “free to contact” these players, and “who you meet with is a matter for you, not us”.

Eventually NZSO told the players they could communicate with me again. Months later I learned through information requests that I had been shunned at the administration’s bidding.

Is orchestra arranged ostracism an appropriate or constructive response to sexual harm?

From my perspective it was a most unpleasant experience, the gaslighting in being told I was free to contact these players was disturbing. I have a few suggestions for NZSO:

Apologise to your players and to me - this was harmful and not necessary. Engage in education, learn about other ways for an institution to respond to sexual harm. Ensure the orchestra has good policies and processes in place. In future, if you feel inclined to have someone who comes forward about sexual harm ostracised, please pause. Consider your position of power and your ability to reach into people’s lives in this way. Then, if you are sure this is an appropriate course of action, do it with transparency and empathy. Explain your reasons for this choice, to both your players and the person who has spoken up, acknowledge the interference in their personal lives and offer support for them all.

In the comments of the post, Kate leaves the following:

NZSO’s email to the players.

Internal memo to the now-former CEO. I’m not sure how players talking to someone who has spoken about sexual harm might bring an orchestra into disrepute.

Was this so important it needed an unscheduled meeting?

The following is a chronological account of the posts I've made about Kate Rendall, along with some of her own. I’ve linked to the original Facebook posts where possible.

July 9, 2022

PLAYING MUSIC WHILE FEMALE

TRIGGER WARNING: SEXUAL ASSAULT

Here is a statement I am sharing at the request of a woman oboist from New Zealand. This story is a fleshed-out version of the type that I hear every day from women in our industry.

This oboist has tamed down the hotel scene quite a bit from earlier drafts that I've seen. She has struggled with naming what happened to her, and the line between calling something rape versus sexual assault. When discussing with her--and this is not the point of the story at all--it became clear that she had actually heard me play a long time ago in her country. I am the kazoo player she references. (My experience with OlderMaleOboist was also highly unpleasant, but my complaints were only on a professional level, not a criminal one.)

I'd like all of you who decide to read this and are men to sit with this for awhile. I'd like those of you who read this and tolerate Harold Emert and his articles about sexual assault, or tell women actively or even subtly to not discuss these uncomfortable topics (which are all various expressions of misogyny), to sit with this. Sit with this woman's words about freezing on the bed. Remember that according to RAINN, 1 in 6 of every American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime. Acccording to Helpauckland.org, 1 in 5 women in New Zealand is the victim of a serious sexual assault.

I don't know if statistics in classical music might be worse than this, given our super screwed-up power dynamics and backward looking culture. Regardless, chances are you know people in our field who do this stuff. They are likely your friends and colleagues.

*************************************

I wasn’t planning to share my story on social media, until I woke up this/yesterday morning and read Katherine’s FB post – the bit about being invited to a hotel room at 19 was so triggering. I was also invited to a hotel room, by an older male musician. So, I decided to contact Katherine, she has agreed to share this for me.

I was so excited when I was handed an oboe to play in school band. I loved it. At 16 or 17, I decided I wanted private lessons. I had a part time job so could pay for lessons. I found a good teacher, practiced, and improved a lot. I auditioned for music school at university. I didn’t get into my first choice of music school, but I got a place at another.

I knew I was behind other students, but thought if I worked really, really hard I might catch up. Lessons went well for a bit, I practiced heaps, and tried to absorb everything my teacher, Oldermaleoboist, told me. Oldermaleoboist was very encouraging – he told me how well I was doing, called me his star student, and for a while really built my confidence.

Sometimes Oldermaleoboist came to Uni for lessons. Other times they were at his house. This was not unusual, practice rooms were in demand, and teachers from the orchestra who only had a few students would often teach at their home studio. The lessons at Oldermaleoboist’s house were great. He would give me a long lesson, and we would chat, mostly about music stuff – the latest orchestra concert, a particular recording, a funny story from his orchestra rehearsal. One time I recall he shared his thoughts on a young American player who was trialling for principal oboe in his orchestra. He said that a lot of people thought she was great, but he thought she sounded like she was playing the kazoo. I remember being confused about this, I had been to the concert, ‘kazoo’ had not come to my mind – she sounded good. But I totally respected Oldermaleoboist’s opinion, I was pleased that he was so frank and willing to share his expertise with me.

Sometimes Oldermaleoboist’s wife would arrive home from work as my lesson was wrapping up – occasionally she would pour us all a glass of wine, offer some cheese and crackers, and join us in music chat. It was a warm friendly environment, and I felt so grown up! Sometimes she was out, and Oldermaleoboist would offer a drink anyway. One time I think she was away, and Oldermaleoboist offered me dinner (I was a poor student, not gonna turn down a free meal). We had dinner, shared a bottle of wine, and he told me tales of his time at Fancy Music School, he talked about where I should study after finishing my degree in New Zealand. At the time I felt like I had made it, I was being treated like an adult, and a serious oboe student. Although nothing untoward happened that night, in hindsight that evening was completely inappropriate. But, I was so used to the friendliness that I was comfortable with him.

Then, stuff started going wrong for me. I practiced too hard, I didn’t take care of my body, and developed a serious overuse injury. I ended up having to take a significant amount of time off. I dropped out of Uni and didn’t know if I would be able to beat the injury and go back or not.

Eventually I was able to ease back into some playing but had not made a decision about returning to a performance degree. Then, one night Oldermaleoboist’s orchestra was playing an out of town concert. I happened to be in the area and decided to go with a friend. After the concert we headed to the bar to meet up with people she knew. I was happy to say hi to Oldermaleoboist, and we chatted for a bit. After a while, he asked if I wanted to see his new oboe. I didn’t think twice as I went with him to his hotel room. He did show me the oboe. As he packed it up there was this awkward moment – I felt it was time to leave, but I was not being dismissed.

Then he turned to me and said “we both know I didn’t ask you here to show you an oboe.” In that split second, my stomach dropped and I realised what was going to happen. He took a couple of steps towards me, and started kissing me. I managed to regain my composure enough to push him away, and say no (politely, because he was my teacher, and I thought he was wonderful). He acknowledged my objection yet continued. Somehow, I ended up frozen on the bed. I remember him lifting my skirt, and removing my underwear, I remember his fingers and tongue everywhere, him on top of me. I couldn’t move my body, but I turned my face away, so he couldn’t see my expression. Afterwards I went back to my friend’s flat. He started sending me text messages, describing how hard he was and how he was still thinking of me. After an icy reply from me he stopped texting, and I didn’t hear from him again.

At that point, I walked away from music for good (or so I thought). I cut ties and avoided music and musicians. I couldn’t even listen to classical music. I didn’t tell anyone other than the friend I went to the concert with about what happened. I just buried everything.

I went back to uni and did a boring academic degree, got a job, met my husband, and had kids. Weirdly, my eldest child started getting really into music. I got them lessons with a player in AnotherOrchestra. Their teacher got us tickets to concerts, so I took my child to the AnotherOrchestra. It was excruciatingly painful; I could hardly sit through a concert.

One day, I was in a local music shop, waiting while my child’s instrument was adjusted. By chance there were a bunch of hire oboes on the counter. I stood there for 15 mins or so, then bought a reed and asked to try them. They were terrible! A couple of weeks later I bought a second hand oboe, and decided to take some lessons. Two weeks back into oboe playing, I realised I was not ok. It took me a couple of months before I sat my husband down and told him. It was several more months before the emotion got the better of me in an oboe lesson and I broke down crying over some Bach phrasing, and somehow everything came tumbling out. I’m fortunate to have such an incredible and supportive teacher now. Even with lots of support from the people around me, I had couple of years of being an emotional wreck. Then things gradually started to come right.

I’m still taking lessons, I practice as much as I can, and my playing is improving. I’m subbing in a few orchestras, and really enjoying it. Some days I love oboe and think I’m doing ok, other days I feel like the worst oboe student in the world, and it hurts so much.

A year or so ago I contacted Oldermaleoboist and confronted him. He no longer works in the music industry. I pointed out he was twice my age, married, and my teacher. He told me I had enjoyed it, he also told me “I looked beautiful that night, and I knew it”. WTF????

I’m sharing this because I don’t think we should have to just STFU, keeping quiet allows this to keep happening. I am scared of being blacklisted though. I love playing in orchestra, it makes me feel alive. I get to play in orchestras that are way above my pay grade, because it’s oboe and New Zealand, and there aren’t that many players around. I don’t want to lose all of that, that would suck. But I am also in a relatively safe position. I have a day job, I’m not in any danger of losing my home or being unable to feed my family because I shared this.

And that American oboist who sounded like she was playing the kazoo – I learnt today, that was Katherine Needleman. If anyone wants kazoo lessons, I know a great teacher.

June 7, 2023

(Click underlined date above to read Kate Rendall’s Facebook post in its original location.)

TW:SA

TLDR: putting oboe down, being outspoken.

Five years ago I was inspired by my children’s enjoyment of music to take up oboe again after a long break from music. This weekend the three of us perform together in orchestra. Then, I’m taking a step back from oboe. Here’s why:

Last year I spoke out about my experience with a predatory university teacher (who retired some time ago), and the impact that had on my relationship with music. I hoped that adding my voice to the #metoo movement might prompt conversations in my corner of the music world, and do a little to help others with similar experiences to feel less alone.

A number of women contacted me, as well as the person who published my story, to share their own experiences. The resulting conversations have been worthwhile and often uplifting.

I was amazed by the response from several respected musicians who also got in touch. They were supportive, acknowledged the need for a culture shift, and wanted to take action within their orchestras and music institutions. I’ve been blown away by their openness and engagement on such a difficult topic.

Unfortunately, it has not all been positive or straight forward. I’ve been described to my face as “That Woman, who is trying to burn down the [orchestra]” and also other less pleasant things. I’ve been tone policed - asked why I wanted to be so antagonistic, and uncooperative.

I’ve felt a huge amount of pressure to STFU. There have been scary suggestions of legal action from a large organisation (albeit from a third party, not the organisation itself). A couple of people have directly asked me to keep quiet; in one instance the situation and power imbalance involved left me feeling I had little choice but to comply.

It would be easy to give in to fear and self-doubt, to give up and shut up.

I’m not alone here; in the music industry there seems to be a culture of keeping uncomfortable stuff quiet. For example, I recently heard from a woman, who when she approached her teacher for help with a situation, was told “no one can know about this”. I’ve also spoken with younger players who are apprehensive about aspects of the path before them as they enter the industry. Clearly more needs to be done to encourage a positive culture shift.

Given the pressure and the personal attacks I’ve experienced so far, it is not currently tenable for me to both play the oboe and advocate for culture change. So I’m stepping back from oboe, in order to be “That Woman” – the one who is advocating for safe, respectful learning and working environments, pathways, and support systems.

Edit May 2024. I’m getting back to into playing. Yes, there has been retaliation from the orchestra, and a decent amount of disapproval and criticism from various individuals. However, I’m now satisfied that this retaliation and unpleasantness is directed only at me, not at other musicians who happen to have an association with me. So, I’m finding a way to both play and advocate for change.

June 8, 2023

I'm sharing an update, and the name Kate Rendall with her permission. She is the person whose story I shared last July and is no longer seeking anonymity. Here it is:

(Then I shared Kate’s June 7, 2023 post, just above, referencing her July 9, 2022, post, shared two posts above .)

August 18, 2023

October 25, 2023

October 29, 2023

June 10, 2024

June 24, 2024

(Click underlined date above to read my Facebook post in its original location.)

𝐖𝐄'𝐑𝐄 𝐀𝐋𝐖𝐀𝐘𝐒 "𝐍𝐔𝐓𝐒"

Kate Rendall has been trying to get the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra to do better for the safety of women (and other victims) of sexual assault for some time now.

TL:DR, they've treated her like total trash. Now, they want her to pay a ridiculous sum of money in order to provide documentation of exactly how horrible they've been to her. All along, she's wanted simply this: an investigation into her rape by a former member of their orchestra, her teacher; establishment of applicable procedures and policies for reporting/investigation sexual assault/harassment; and to be treated with empathy and respect.

This is, sadly, just too much to ask from virtually every arts organization. They only seem to respond to massive public embarrassment, the sort of which was brought recently to the New York Philharmonic by Sammy Sussman. I know because I myself aimed for the implementation of a sexual harassment policy and consequences for lying in a sexual harassment investigation from my own orchestra--and I got virtually nowhere, and only managed the implementation of a policy by hiring a lawyer. My own orchestra only adopted a sexual harassment policy in 2018, despite having record of numerous allegations over the decades prior. Better to have the standard of criminal conviction instead of a policy with basic professional standards guiding you, I suppose, if you want to keep women down and out.

Of course, women who report the "regular" bad things which are done to them all the time are taking a tremendous risk. They shouldn't be, but the natural reaction is to shut these women up, often with legal threats or expensive fees. Most women don't have enough money and resources to advocate for themselves in a society which is set up to silence them.

Kate first shared her story on my page two years ago. I just set up this GoFundMe to allow Kate to continue fighting to the get information she needs from the NZSO. Kate is not nuts, even though the NZSO portrays her that way.

It is my genuine hope that the NZSO comes to their senses and does not charge her this ridiculous amount of money for a document request. If they come around, any and all funds will be donated directly to RAINN.

Until then, if you have the cost of a coffee, would you please consider donating it to Kate's pursuit of safety for women in the arts in New Zealand. I hope Kate can know there are many people behind her.

June 24, 2024

(Click underlined date above to read my Facebook post in its original location.)

𝐊𝐈𝐀 𝐎𝐑𝐀, 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐙𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃

𝐀𝐧 𝐎𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐋𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐙𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐀𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐒𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐙𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐲𝐦𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐲:

While you all were sleeping last night, I fundraised money to clean up your mess—from entirely outside of New Zealand. Your national orchestra, a Crown entity, the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra, is charging Kate Rendall the ridiculous sum of $2215 for a request for information through the Official Information Act. While they had previously provided her the comment that she and the investigative journalist working on her story were “nuts” according to an employee of the NZSO for free, a request to follow up with further context on her being “nuts” was prohibitively expensive.

Kate Rendall alleges that she was raped by her oboe teacher, a former member of the orchestra, who raped her while he was on tour with the orchestra.

All along, Kate Rendall has simply been asking to be treated with respect and empathy and for the NZSO to develop appropriate policies and protocols for investigations related to sexual harassment/assault. This prohibitive proposed expense, disrespect for someone accusing an employee of rape, and avoidance of the important issues at hand reflect a cultural dysfunction unbecoming of the arts and the people of New Zealand.

As money continues to pour in from around the world to support Kate Rendall and her quest for justice, I challenge you with the following:

1) Tell Kate you were wrong about the $2215 and will provide the information for free. This way, I will donate the entire amount of the GoFundMe I’ve collected overnight to RAINN, not just the overage above your charge. Wouldn’t it be better that I fundraised for RAINN overnight than your ridiculous, unnecessary fee?

2) Release to the public your policies about investigation of sexual harassment/assault.

3) Release to the public your plans to do better in the future.

Kate Rendall is a hero of New Zealand and your national orchestra could and should learn from her. Your country deserves much better.

Ngā mihi

Katherine Needleman

June 24, 2024

100% OF SALES OF ELECTRONIC PUBLICATIONS FROM MY WEBSITE TODAY WILL GO TOWARD KATE RENDALL'S GoFundMe. L1nk bel0w.

(We're already 1/3 the way there in the first hour. Hopefully by the time Kate wakes up, this will be taken care of.)

Let's help Kate fight to improve the culture of New Zealand's largest, and publicly funded, arts organization, the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra.

Also, let's hope NZSO gets their 💩 together and decides to do their document request for free and this just ends up being a nice donation to RAINN today.

June 25, 2024

(Click underlined date above to read my Facebook post in its original location

𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐙𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃
𝐒𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐌𝐈𝐗𝐄𝐃 𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒

Yesterday, I started fundraising to cover a ridiculous fee the New Zealand Symphony Orchestra had set out to impose on Kate Rendallafter Kate asked for more information through New Zealand’s Official Information Act. Kate sought more information through the OIA after learning that someone in the NZSO wrote that she and the investigative journalist on her story were “nuts.” Kate alleges that she was raped by her oboe teacher, a member of the NZSO some time ago, while the orchestra was on tour. The NZSO is New Zealand’s national orchestra, a Crown entity, and receives massive public funding. All along, Kate has simply been asking for the NZSO to develop appropriate policies and procedures for investigation as well as investigating her own complaint, something they have still failed thus far to do.

I emailed the NZSO yesterday, after I had raised more than $1000 over the amount Kate needed to cover their dumb fee. I was planning to donate the overage to RAINN, but I told them I thought they should waive the fee and I should donate the *entire* amount to RAINN. I woke up this morning to learn that they did decide—in the end—to do the right thing and waive the Official Information Act fees. So, now Kate can get her information, there will be no ridiculous, obscene charges designed to keep women down and out, and I will send what is now nearly $3,000 USD to RAINN.

Thank you to the 78 donors from around the world, ranging from $5 to $175, who donated to support Kate’s quest for justice. Thank you to the 13 people—mostly clarinetists wanting to play Bach--who purchased electronic publications through my website yesterday, enabling me to donate another $440 to RAINN. Every one of these donations, thanks to the NZSO coming around and doing the right thing, will now go to RAINN instead of bureaucratic nonsense.

I’m thrilled, but also I’m not. Making a significant donation to RAINN crowd-funded by a bunch of good people such as yourselves feels good. But this should have never been necessary, and organizations such as RAINN should not be necessary. If you read Kate’s initial story here, you will know that she left the profession in her young adulthood as a result of this rape, and could not even touch an oboe for years. Think how common this is. Think how common unsupportive, disrespectful reactions lacking empathy and common sense are for women who complain of sexual assault and harassment. Think how many other women have left the profession for similar reasons. Think how many dumbass men still come to my page and say, “Well *THIS* Big Fancy Orchestra only hires the best, and the finals were all men because they played the best and it was all totally fair. It’s just that women aren’t as good.” Think how few people, even running things at the top of our profession, realize how problematic statements like that are. Think of how few people realize the different path a woman who is still standing at the end has had to take. Think of how few organizations are good actors until they are publicly embarrassed. Think of how little press coverage stories like Kate's get.

I played for two months next to Kate's alleged rapist. He was one of the most wretched oboists I've ever worked with professionally, with a sound to peel paint off walls and intonation which defied understanding. I can't think of anyone, actually, whom I've sat next to who played worse. But he was a self-satisfied, self-confident asshole. He must've thought he played well. If we could only bottle that unwarranted confidence for the women who get abused out of the profession.