I HAVE A FUNNY STORY

about the Nobel Peace Prize

I always thought this was a big deal, the Nobel Peace Prize. Like you had to be Mother Teresa or something to win one. (She did.) But when I heard the other day that my President, the one that 77,302,580 of my fellow Americans voted for but I didn’t, was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, I decided to investigate it. You know, in my own Dr. Google way. Turns out it is just as big of a farce as a lot of classical music prizes.

I mean, my initial reaction was that Donald Trump is about the last person on Earth who should win a Nobel Peace Prize. And I don’t know anything, I really don’t. But I can never forget when we Americans elected him the first time, back in 2016, when right before the election, news broke that he said if you’re famous you can just “grab {women} by the pussy.” I thought that was the end of this clown, and his game was over then. Like Yankees vs. my son’s 10-and-under Little League team. But remember, I don’t know anything. I was so fucking stupid.

Then Trump was found liable for “sexual abuse,” which if you then go and read what the judge had to say about that, is rape, as it is commonly understood. Trump called E. Jean Carroll a “nut job” and said she was “not my type.” Still: not Game Over.

Just very recently, he was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for a day. It didn’t last long. But it’s still a day longer than most people.

If you’re a rapist who says you can “grab ‘em by the pussy,” you are more likely to be nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize than basically every woman on Earth.

The Nobel Prize is awarded in chemistry, physics, physiology/medicine, literature, economic sciences, and peace. The award has been ongoing since 1901. There have been a grand total of 1,012 individual laureates (excluding organizations). Here’s a fun chart from 2018, a bit out of date, but gives you an idea:

Here’s another chart detailing the 67 awards to women for 66 women (Marie Curie won twice). Remember this is out of 1,012 laureates. That’s like 6.6% women total. And this is not like they just started making these awards to women this century. Women have always been “included,” since 1903:

Nineteen women have won the Nobel Peace Prize and 92 men have won. Women have won the Peace Prize more than any other Nobel Prize. In 2024, there were eleven winners of all the Nobel Prizes, and just one was a woman, Han Kang for literature. One out of eleven in 2024 (9%) is actually higher than the overall percentage of wins for women.

When you consider the population of women throughout the world, and the statistics for the perpetration of violence by men, it’s rather extraordinary that so few women have won the Peace Prize. That said,

• 93.8% of sexual abuse offenders in the US in FY2023 (like almost nominee Donald Trump!) were men¹

• 84% of homicide perpetrators are men in Germany.²

• 89.5% of homicide perpetrators were men in the US in 2011. ³

• Historically, warfare has been a nearly exclusively male pursuit. ⁴

With 19 women Nobel Peace Prize laureates out of 111 total individuals, or 17% women, women are represented more at “peace” than pursuits such as literature and science.

Of course, creating peace and creating violence and war are different things. Maybe men are better at creating peace and violence and warfare than women.

Like everything else, right? Like conducting orchestras, writing music, playing brass and percussion instruments, winning blind auditions, winning non-blind competitions, and leading sections.

Or, maybe, just maybe, this Nobel Peace Prize that even allowed Donald Trump to be a nominee for a short time, is bullshit. Maybe our system of prizes is rigged, no matter how prestigious the prize.

1. https://www.ussc.gov/sites/default/files/pdf/research-and-publications/quick-facts/Sexual_Abuse_FY23.pdf

2. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11953208/

3. https://bjs.ojp.gov/content/pub/pdf/htus8008.pdf

4. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6111185/