Katherine - thank you for all that you do. Thank you for venting your rage so that it can be heard by others and create a force for better conditions for all.
If it happens to you: hang in there. As Katherine suggests: document as much as you can. If you're too emotionally wrecked, that's completely understandable. Take care of yourself first. But if you can bear to put texts, emails, photos sent, phone call timestamps somewhere that will be backed up and safe ... this is a good thing to do. I don't know if it's legal to record a phone conversation without the permission of the other person ... but I would consider it.
What can a third party do?
- if you witnessed something, speak up in the moment if you can. Obviously, this is difficult to do when there's a power dynamic. But if you can do it, here are some phrases for you: "Hey, that's not ok. That's not an appropriate way to treat a student/colleague/whatever." "I am here to learn how to be a better musician, not to witness you tearing someone down." "I'm not comfortable with the way you just spoke to X; making great music doesn't require that kind of behavior."
- if you witnessed something, grab a private moment with the victim and ask them what they need. Listen to the victim and do what they ask for. Just be present with them. If it feels right, offer to listen, or to accompany them to someplace safe, or to help them document what just happened, or to accompany them to report it/file a complaint. Tell them you were a witness and that you will document what you witnessed, just for your own records. Ask if they would like you to speak to someone about what you witnessed.
In the anti-sexual harrassment training that was required by the institution I have retired from (not as a musician), sexual harassment was defined broadly as something like "being made to feel uncomfortable" by someone else's words/actions. That is: you may be an observer only and report the behavior -- you do not need to be directly involved.
Katherine - thank you for all that you do. Thank you for venting your rage so that it can be heard by others and create a force for better conditions for all.
If it happens to you: hang in there. As Katherine suggests: document as much as you can. If you're too emotionally wrecked, that's completely understandable. Take care of yourself first. But if you can bear to put texts, emails, photos sent, phone call timestamps somewhere that will be backed up and safe ... this is a good thing to do. I don't know if it's legal to record a phone conversation without the permission of the other person ... but I would consider it.
What can a third party do?
- if you witnessed something, speak up in the moment if you can. Obviously, this is difficult to do when there's a power dynamic. But if you can do it, here are some phrases for you: "Hey, that's not ok. That's not an appropriate way to treat a student/colleague/whatever." "I am here to learn how to be a better musician, not to witness you tearing someone down." "I'm not comfortable with the way you just spoke to X; making great music doesn't require that kind of behavior."
- if you witnessed something, grab a private moment with the victim and ask them what they need. Listen to the victim and do what they ask for. Just be present with them. If it feels right, offer to listen, or to accompany them to someplace safe, or to help them document what just happened, or to accompany them to report it/file a complaint. Tell them you were a witness and that you will document what you witnessed, just for your own records. Ask if they would like you to speak to someone about what you witnessed.
In the anti-sexual harrassment training that was required by the institution I have retired from (not as a musician), sexual harassment was defined broadly as something like "being made to feel uncomfortable" by someone else's words/actions. That is: you may be an observer only and report the behavior -- you do not need to be directly involved.