all true. Some/many BFMs behave like predators and there is no accountability, even by the departments in those institutions that are supposed to investigate these things. Not in the orchestras, not in the places they teach, not in the union ... everyone sides with the BFM, and with the institution. Not the victim.
I very much want things to change, and agree that breaking up the bro clubs is necessary. Probably not sufficient, but a start. Hypothetically, I would hate to be the single female brass faculty member at a place like IU ... I'm sure the faculty meetings would be horrific. I don't think it's any fun being the single female player in a brass section peopled with BFMs.
Until things change, I wonder if there should be a pre-college seminar for female musicians on what grooming looks like. And how and when to document, document, document. And to keep those documents in case you ever feel ready to fight. (I wonder if we could at least create something available on the web? I'd be willing to help.)
And when and how to find a lawyer and/or a journalist to fight for you. Because it's likely nothing else will work.
That seminar would have helped me. And why not offer free refresher courses throughout our lives? And why not make anti grooming and allyship classes required for male students? And BFM’s
Hit the nail on the head, Katherine. Everything in this post reminds me why things turned out the way they did. For decades, I just said no, and not nicely. When I finally did finesse, in retrospect, I was in a situation that threatened me in multiple ways and could have been reported. By the time I reported, it was too late. The thing about just saying no- it insulted the bros and BFM’s but I felt great about myself! And I wish I’d prioritized that always. Trying to make nice while saying no was sickening and ultimately of no help to me
The BFM I've read (and heard) things about in that photo is Dale Clevenger, though the last time I looked for the places where I'd heard that, the Internet seemed to have memory-holed the information.
Well said, Katherine.
all true. Some/many BFMs behave like predators and there is no accountability, even by the departments in those institutions that are supposed to investigate these things. Not in the orchestras, not in the places they teach, not in the union ... everyone sides with the BFM, and with the institution. Not the victim.
I very much want things to change, and agree that breaking up the bro clubs is necessary. Probably not sufficient, but a start. Hypothetically, I would hate to be the single female brass faculty member at a place like IU ... I'm sure the faculty meetings would be horrific. I don't think it's any fun being the single female player in a brass section peopled with BFMs.
Until things change, I wonder if there should be a pre-college seminar for female musicians on what grooming looks like. And how and when to document, document, document. And to keep those documents in case you ever feel ready to fight. (I wonder if we could at least create something available on the web? I'd be willing to help.)
And when and how to find a lawyer and/or a journalist to fight for you. Because it's likely nothing else will work.
That seminar would have helped me. And why not offer free refresher courses throughout our lives? And why not make anti grooming and allyship classes required for male students? And BFM’s
Yupppp!
100%
Spot. On.
Hit the nail on the head, Katherine. Everything in this post reminds me why things turned out the way they did. For decades, I just said no, and not nicely. When I finally did finesse, in retrospect, I was in a situation that threatened me in multiple ways and could have been reported. By the time I reported, it was too late. The thing about just saying no- it insulted the bros and BFM’s but I felt great about myself! And I wish I’d prioritized that always. Trying to make nice while saying no was sickening and ultimately of no help to me
The BFM I've read (and heard) things about in that photo is Dale Clevenger, though the last time I looked for the places where I'd heard that, the Internet seemed to have memory-holed the information.